It really scares me sometimes, how am i able to make it to 5N? I have been slacking and my results are really bad now :( I am so tired now because I have to wake up early but still i feel sad that i have only a few days to spend time in class like today. Many things have been going through my mind when I was in the bus on the way home. The feelings I had when I saw my PSLE results that sad feeling that made me cry for days or weeks over it and finally getting up again telling myself that I have to study and since what is done cannot be undone I have to face it.


The day that I was in the sec one class, with no one that I know my feelings were so messed up that I skipped school the next day. The day I went to a new sec two class that i never heard of, was scary but at least someone else was with me. Then going to a sec three class and that was a N1 class which is what we thought is a better class. Then going to sec four taking the N levels and studying like hell and I got nose bleeding almost everyday.


Getting results and that feeling of having doubts in myself as I think I did badly. When it is said that I could go sec five, my feelings was really happy but it was at the same time sad because some friends that are together with us for two or for some even more years are leaving us and the time that we will meet would be little.


I have thought about it, I was foolish of me to skip school in primary six. I made up reasons like sick and stomachache so that I could leave school and stay at home. But I could escape from school but never tuition. I remember almost falling asleep when doing math or Chinese.

I just turned 17!! :) but that means that I have only a few years before I leave my teenage years! >.< that sounds like so old!!! During grad assembly, I hope to take many many pictures and I really hope that my brother could lend me his phone for me to take photo!

somehow I got this sudden urge to update my blog today and I have so many things to say...may be its because I wrote a total 3 chapters of my fan fic consisting of almost 150 and more words today and looking through at bubz's videos...

everyone is allowed to love and love is a thing that keep one's heart from beating.